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JOKES JOKES JOKES
03-16-2017, 09:02 PM,
RE: JOKES JOKES JOKES
Just a couple jokes today to lighten the mood.

Q: Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?
A: Because they taste funny.

“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” —Steven Wright

Big Grin
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08-21-2017, 01:30 PM,
RE: JOKES JOKES JOKES
How does the man in the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.    Confused
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08-21-2017, 02:59 PM,
RE: JOKES JOKES JOKES
Why do Norwegian ships have a bar code?

To Scandinavian.
"Vambo Rool OK!"
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08-21-2017, 04:30 PM,
RE: JOKES JOKES JOKES
I bought my wife a guitar.

A fender?

No, she liked it.
"Vambo Rool OK!"
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08-21-2017, 04:31 PM,
RE: JOKES JOKES JOKES
(08-21-2017, 04:30 PM)dextershrill Wrote: I bought my wife a guitar.

A fender?

No, she liked it.

Big Grin
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09-17-2017, 04:18 PM,
RE: JOKES JOKES JOKES
What did the cheese say looking in the mirror?


Halloumi.
"Vambo Rool OK!"
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09-17-2017, 06:39 PM,
RE: JOKES JOKES JOKES
(09-17-2017, 04:18 PM)dextershrill Wrote: What did the cheese say looking in the mirror?


Halloumi.

Dreadful Roy.  Confused
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7 hours ago,
RE: JOKES JOKES JOKES
Two blokes in a bar :
I have a terrible job ...
Really ? What do you do for a living ?
Pizzas ! Hundreds of pizzas !
Sounds okay for me ...
You don't realise ! I touch them, I put my finger all over them, I smell them, I look at them, but I can seldom have one for me !
Well I have the same kind of job, I'm a gynecologist !
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6 hours ago,
RE: JOKES JOKES JOKES
One I really enjoy ...

There has been a meeting at the United Nations for world peace, in N Y, with one person of each human group alongside all the world leaders to try to acheive world peace; then after a semi failure, the Air Force One is flying to Rome for another summit; inside, apart from the crew, there are D Trump, Daniel Craig (representing movie stars) going there for a movie, the Pope going back to Vatican, Lebron James ( for sport stars ) and a kid (for world children) . They all chat happily until an explosion rips a hole in the plane which starts to plummet towards the ocean. It's soon clear the secret service agents have either been killed or are unable to come to their rescue and they have only themselves to count on. Craig and James start fighting against the wind, the noise, they smash at doors, fight their ways through the wreckage and finally uncover a box with ... only 4 parachutes ! One missing !! They bring them back to the room and throw them on the ground amid the glasses, broken bottles, the kid's toys smashed to pieces, papers flying etc ... "There is one missing" shouts Craig ! "I know how to use one with no danger for me but if I jump with you kid, I might drop you when it opens" !!!
Suddenly, Trump rushes on one, grabs it, puts it on and yells " I'm one of the most important man in the world ! Americans need me ! I cannot die !" And he jumps off !
Then James grabs one, puts it on and yells " I'm an idol to millions of people ! I cannot die ! " And he, too, jumps off .
Craig looks at the Pope, then at the kid, and says, "I'm sorry, but I think I'm gonna jump, I, too, am an idol for millions of people, I let you decide who will get the last parachute" and he jumps off.
The Pope looks at the kid and says "You know, I'm not afraid to die, and to meet God, so you take the parachute !"
And the kid says " Look, we can both jump with a parachute each, because the most important man in the world has just jump with my school bag on his back! "
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